When it rains in Mumbai

When it rains in Mumbai

Everything gets wet.

Do you or do you not?

Get wet.

The mountains are of a different colour today

Compared to yesterday

When they were coloured differently

But then so are niggers.

Who is to be blamed for war and hunger?

You?

No really. Should I blame you?

You Bastard.

The rain is falling down.

Just like the time I had that double scoop chocolate ice-cream.

And it fell on my pants.

And it stained.

The rain is unlike a tumor

The rain comes and goes.

But a tumor stays

Causing a slow painful death.

We are all the children of rain

That is not to say the rain made sweet love to all our mothers.

Or did it?

Then we are all bastards

Only this time

We’re wet bastards

Stand Up Comedy @ Blue Frog

Some time around last month, I got a call from a friend who was looking for people who wanted to try their hand at Stand-Up comedy.
So I agreed to do it. And on the 21st of June myself, along with ten other people gathered at Blue Frog. It was a competition for amateurs hosted by Vir Das and Sorabh Pant.
We were given two minutes to do our thing. At the end of the contest, Vir Das did a 20 minute gig. The competitors were decent. Someone did a mime act. Someone did a funny song. Others made fun of the general Indianness of Indians.

I basically yelled at the people in the audience. And I got a pretty good response.
Of course, no one could hold a candle to Vir Das…or Sorah Pant. And they brought the house down with their act. Their respective acts.

I didn’t win the competition. But Blue Frog is a really nice place to start off your stand-up career. Yeah ok… not career… but… a one time thingy at least.

All my homies from Channel [v] were there. So was Rhutu. So I had some support in the audience. Which helped. A lot.

The Blog gets a mention in DNA!

Recently DNA, a daily newspaper in Mumbai picked up a post from this blog and printed it in the newspaper. All thanks to my near and dear friend Mihir.

Also, when I say recently, I mean the 27th of May. Why haven't I blogged about this before? Well... I simply haven't had the time.
'Gilly was the difference' is where the snippet is.

Poem of happiness

Friendship Friendship everyday.
I am happy hey hey hey.
Who’s your daddy bebebe?
Eat green chutney all the way.

I love my friends all the time
I like to say things that rhyme
I don’t know are you a mime?
You bastard! What is the time?

I eat pudding in the summer.
I would like to buy hummer.
If I die then that is a bummer.
Are you listening to a rumor?
And do you have a tumor?

Oh ho ho h ho ho
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Eh he he he he he he
Now sing with me

But why? Wow. Yay. Yippe!
And now its time cows to say moo.
So you also sing with me
Hurrrrraaay!

Pub Crawling!

A couple of weeks back, Rhutu signed us up for a pub crawl organized by a event management company called bestofbombay.com. In the pub crawl, they give take you to four different pubs in South Mumbai and you get a free drink at every one of these pubs. So you dance till your feet hurt at one pub and then hop from one pub to another to do it all over again. And the going from pub to pub thing happens in an open deck bus! Which was pretty cool in itself.

We started by gathering at Henry Tham’s. This pub next to the gateway of India. There we introduced ourselves to each other, and got a few pictures taken. The theme of the night was ‘pirates’ and so I wore an eye patch and a bandana, all provided by the event management group. Everyone was busy losing their sobriety. And me and Rhutu were having the vaguest discussion about parrots. Next up was the bus ride! We were riding in the same bus Dhoni and his world cup winning team toured in back in 2007. and we were kinda relieved we got seats because the people who were standing had to duck every time the bus passed by a tree with its branches spread out. And the bus passed by trees like that quite often. Even the people who were sitting had to duck at times. But it was a lot of fun nevertheless.

We hit Soul Fry Casa next. This place was basically a karaoke bar and going by the aroma, a great sea-food joint. Although it took us a while to get our drinks because there were a lot of people there, singing along with the karaoke machine was great fun. At times, though, the karaoke machine got the lyrics wrong. I didn’t want to be an asshole so I didn’t point it out to the bar owner.

Back to the bus and this time it took us to Oba… this really classy pub in Colaba. Oba, was the best of the lot and I wish we could’ve stayed for longer. But then all the dancing and traveling made Rhutu and me hungry so we hopped next door to Bade Miyan which is this place for rolls and kebabs. A few rolls and a lot of Absolut later, we went back to the bus for the last pub of the night.

The last pub was called ‘Bollywood Pub’ and this thing was on Marine Drive in The Intercontinental. As expected, they played a lot of Bollywood music and everyone danced as hard as they could because these were songs EVERYONE KNEW! There came a point where our feet couldn’t take all the dancing and so we had to call it a night. Cab back home. Fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow. Phew..

Happy Birthday! To me!

I celebrated my 22^nd birthday on the 17^th of this month. My school and college friends had gathered over at my place to give me a wonderful surprise. So I got cake and ice-cream smeared all over my face.

This was everyone who came over at midnight. Thanks guys.

It was a quiet birthday. My school friends were over till around noon. After which I met a few more friends and chilled out with them till evening. And then I met Rhutu for dinner.

I had no qualms about turning 22 this year, surprisingly. I looked back at everything that had happened in the last year and I felt satisfied. Struggling as a marketing executive in Chandigarh; traveling all over Punjab; experiencing a very harsh, but very fun winter; coming back to Mumbai; cracking the CET, securing admission into a desired college and giving it all up for a career in Television; having friends come over all the time and three and a half memorable months at Channel [v]- which I will make a separate post about later.

So now, in the 23^rd year of my life…. I hope to out do myself and have even crazier experiences than last year. Keep visiting. This should be fun.

My Govinda Appearance on Channel [v] Frist Day First Show

This aired on National Television on the 4th of Jun, 2009.

To see more of me on the telly... Keep watching Channel [v]